


Denial.

by Agentrogers17



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Denial, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, hurt reader, lemonade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is never easy to realise and know that someone you dearly love is cheating on you. But if there is something harder than knowing the truth, it is accepting it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial.

**_I tried to change…_ **

 

I put my hair in a professional bun. Put on my nude pink lipstick and some mascara. I streightened my white dress ending right on my knees and put on my nude stilettos.

 

**_Closed my mouth more…_ **

 

I put on a small smile and entered the meeting room. Clint and Nat waved at me so I moved to them. I sat next to Clint.

“Still looking pro?” he said.

“He said I was too childish.” I said.

“He didn’t say that.” Natasha said.

“No. He asked me why couldn’t I be more grown up like Agent 13.”

“He was afraid you were going to die. He didn’t know what he was saying.” Clint said. 

“I am just giving him what he asked for.”

“(Y/n)...”

 

**_I tried to be soft, prettier…_ **

 

“Is my make up okay?” I asked Nat.

“You are beautiful. But I liked your red lipstick style. You are the queen of red.” she said smiling sadly.

“His girl should be more elegant.” I repeated Steve’s words he said few months ago. I saw Steve entering the meeting room with Sharon. I took a deeo breath put my head high and put on that half smile one more time.

He just nodded at me and I smiled a fake smile to show him I was more adult, prettier…

 

**_Less… awake…_ **

 

I tried to unsee… I tried to act like Steve wasn’t sitting a bit too close to Agent 13n his knee wasn’t brushing her thigh, she wasn’t looking at him with bedroom eyes… i tried to ignore it like I always did. I tried to act like nothing was wrong. I tried to act like I was in a happy relationship with Steve. Like we were some time ago…

 

**_Fasting for 60 days. Wore white._ **

 

White, black, grey and navy… I throw up all other colours in my closet. These were my adult style now. I was an adult. I couldn’t giggle, I couldn’t do pranks anymore…

 

**_Abstained from mirrors_ **

**_Abstained from sex_ **

 

I felt Steve’s lips on my shoulder. Kissing slowly biting.

“No. Steve I can’t… I don’t feel like it.” 

“Come on doll… I haven’t touched you since forever.”

“I feel hurt.” I said.

“Where?” he asked his hand went into my shirt caresing my bare stomach. Right into the heart Steve. You hurt me right there.

“Chest.” I said. Not a lie not the whole truth. “I think something is wrong with my ribs.”

“Want me to check.”

“No I will go to Tony or Bruce tomorrow.”

“So you prefer them to touch you than me?” he asked a bit hurt. Well Steven you prefer Sharon over me so…

“No. Of course not. I just don’t want to kill your time with something not important like this.”

“You are important to me.” Uh huh sure babe? What else?

“I will get them checked tomorrow.”

“(Y/n) I feel like something is wrong. Between us. You are not happy I can see it. And I feel like it has something to do with me…” Nah I think my other boyfriend is fucking someone else behind my back. Nothing for you to worry about.

 

**_Slowly did not speak another word._ **

 

“Steve looks miserable.” Sam said as we were jogging together. 

“Yeah?”

“What is happening (Y/n)? You are playing the ice queen, Steve is there looking like a kicked puppy…”

“Nothing is happening Sam.”

“Than why every morning you come to breakfast with puffy eyes and tons of concealer?”

“I have trouble with sleeping…”

“Yeah you cry instead of sleeping.”

“Sam leave it. It is not your problem.”

“You are one of my closest friend. The reason you are crying all night is my problem. Steve is one of my closest friends why he is sad is my problem.”

“Ask him. I am done today.” I said and went to hit the showers.

 

**_In thay time my hair grew past my ankles_ **

**_I slept on a mat on the floor_ **

 

“Are you going to sleep on sofa tonigh too?” Steve asked something broken in his eyes.

“Yes.”

“(Y/n) if you don’t want to sleep next to me. If I am the problem let me sleep here. You take the bed. You are sleeping on sofa about for 2 weeks now. Your back must be killing you.”

“I will sleep here.”

“Darling…”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Tell me what is wrong. You are killing me here.”

“I don’t want to speak Steve. I want to listen. But no one is talking.”

 

**_I swallowed a sword_ **

**_I levitated into the basement_ **

**_I confessed my sins and was baptized in a river_ **

 

“Did you saw them?” I asked between my sobs. Wanda was holding me closer to hrr body then ever. My chest hurt from my eild sobs. She was whispering sweet nothings in my ear, her hand caresing my back

… Few moments later Natasha rushed in.

“What happened!” she asked looking at me with wide eyes.

“Steve and Sharon.” Wanda said.

“Oh my god. Honey…” She said and kneeled next to us hugging me. I was sobbing harder and harder… Last thing I saw was Wanda’s red magic slowly touching my forehead.

 

**_Got on my knees and said “Amen”_ **

**_And I said “I mean…”_ **

 

“You need to stop it Captain or I will stop you!” I heard Wanda whisper shout.

“Why did you put her to sleep?” he asked.

“Maybe because she was crying so hard that it was becoming dangerous. Because her heart beat was starting to get unsteady? Maybe because she was in such a pain she nearly collapsed?”

“Steve…” this time it was Natasha. “You are playing a dangerous game. And you are hurting the only person who would and never did let you down.”

“I don’t know what this is about.”

“You know what this is about and I am warning you stop it.”

 

**_I whipped my own back and asked for dominion on your feet_ **

**_I threw myself into a volcano_ **

**_I drank blood and I drank the wine_ **

“Talk to me baby girl.” Steve whispered. He was sitting on his knees next to sofa. Watching me. I saw him the first thing as I woke up. Guilt was written all over his face.

“Where were you last night?” I asked already knowing the answer. With Sharon.

“I couldn’t bare to sleep in that bed without you anymore. I trained.” Lies. You slept with her.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Where do you think I was?”

“You tell me.”

 

**_I sat alone and begged and bent at waist for God_ **

**_I crossed myself  and thought I saw the devil_ **

 

“Maybe it is my fault?” I said. Clint looked at me with sad eyes.

“Kid. It is not your fault.”

“I know you wouldn’t but… If you would cheat on Laura why would that be?”

“I would never cheat on her because I love her too much.”

“So maybe Steve’s love for me is not enough?”

“He loves you. I know it. I can see it whenever he looks at you. No one would beat themself for someone who they don’t love.”

“Maybe I am just not enough?”

“Stop blaming yourself kiddo. You are perfect.”

“Not as perfect as Sharon.”

“You need to talk with Steve and either he should end it with Sharon or you end it with him.”

“I am not ready.”

“To let him go.”

“To hear that he is cheating.”

“You are hurting kid. Let the fool go and see what he lost.”

“I am not ready.” 

 

**_I grew thickened skin on my feet_ **

**_I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from Holy Book_ **

 

“You wanted to talk…” Steve said. I took a deep breath and looked up.

“I need to ask you something.” I said.

 

**_Still inside me coiled deep was the need to know_ **

 

He looked at me worry written all over his face. He knew what I was going to ask. And he knew I wouldn’t let him go.

 

**_Are you cheating?_ **

 

“Be honest Steve. Are you cheating?”

 

**_Are you cheating on me?_ **

 

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading please leave kudos and comments.
> 
> I know I kind of got stuck on Steve/Reader fics with Steve cheating on reader with Sharon but... It is just subject has so many different points o view and endings that I want to try some of them and see or maybe understand which is the best for this situation. It is kind of an experiment so I am sorry. But right now I am also working on 2 Bucky and Loki fics so...  
> Thank you for your time and reading this.
> 
> Also I am open for requests.


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